Facebook part 2

Well its been a week and a half since I posted my picture on facebook. I think that (hopefully) may be the trick I needed to get my self motivated to lose weight. I haven't eaten over 1500 calories since then. My pants are not as snug as they were. I have tried the picture on the fridge but the fridge is so big it is very easy to divert your eyes away from that picture. Plus only my family sees that picture. Now the whole world can see my picture. I believe I will do what it takes to change that picture to the new and improved woman that is inside me.

I am trying to realize what true hungry really is for me. I am so use to eating to eat that I lost the true feeling of being hungry. I don't want to look at food as the enemy.

Facebook

I belong to face book and since I joined I refused to put my picture up. I just cant stand how heavy I look. Then I realized several things. First my friends already know what I look like they see me all the time. Its me who doesn't want to see me. So I decided to take some pictures and put up one that's ok. If people have to look at me then I have to look at myself. I am hoping that this is the motivation that I need to finally lose some weight. Also this is hard to admit but I took my son to lunch and when I sat down in the bench seat the table was right up against me. A few more pounds and I don't think I would fit in there.

I now know going to the gym alone will not help me. Dieting alone will not help me. I need to do them both together. I went back to spark people to keep track of what I eat through out the day. I can also track my gym work outs.

I really hope I do it this time.

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Jupiter Freedom Giveaway.

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Jupiter Freedom Giveaway.

clever girl

I was just reading clever girl goes blog which I love to read. She is having a give away for Jupiter Freedom site. They make these cute bags that are great for when you go to the gym. You should check out both sites. http://www.clevergirlgoesblog.com/2009/07/jupiter-freedom-giveaway.html http://www.jupiterfreedom.com/collection-armbags.html.

Today Show

This morning as I was watching the Today Show a story came on about a women who lost 410lbs with out surgery. After not being able to breath on her on because of her weight she decided it was time to get healthy. She went to therapy to learn what her food triggers were and she started walking. They say when you start to exercise you will eat better. I think my mind is on the wrong track. When I exercise I think well I can eat because I burned 300 calories today. I wont give up my exercise because I know I am still helping my bones and muscles. Since I have reached menopause, I know this is important. This is also suppose to help the hot flashes. I wonder how bad they really would be if I didn't exercise, cause they are bad.



Back to the women who lost all that weight. She is one women to admire. I just wonder if something will happen and that will be my breaking point.

At least this week money is tight so no one in the house is eating any junk food.

Swishandwanky

I just visited swishandwanky blog and she is having a give away from "Dandi". They do table coverings pot holder and aprons etc. Please visit her site and check her out I believe you will find it a pleasure to read!! http://swishandswanky.blogspot.com/

Good news bad news

Well I had my yearly woman check up. Good news didn't gain any weight in a years time. Bad news didn't lose any weight in a years time. Why does it seem when everything seems to be going wrong in your life you blame it on your weight. Its like I don't have a good job or not many friends because I am overweight. The more things go wrong the more you feel the need to feed the depression. I am not one to really talk about what is going on in my life, but at least here no one knows me and I can complain. As I'm typing this my life song in on the radio. "Stop and Stare" If you listen to the words its how I feel my life is going.

I try to go the way that would be the best for my family and myself and some how there is a road block or fork in the road. It seems I take the wrong detour. Don't get me wrong we are not living in the streets. We have a small two bedroom home. That is not worth anything. We have the neighbors from hell. For example last night the son-in-law shot a golf ball in our yard just missing my kitchen window. In the summer you know it doesn't get dark till after 9pm. Well that's when they decide to mow their lawn. The father likes to rev his motorcycle in his empty aluminium shed. You can just imagine what that sounds like.

My husband has not gotten a raise in over two years. I work for a nonprofit company. My work week is only 35 hours. Dont even get me started on health insurance.

Now to sum this all up I dont know if I am over weight because I am depressed or I am depressed because I am over weight!